not a drop to drink
palm ramsay
chic
shark rose
love window
stag
1
an explorers welcome
beast on beast
keep it under your hat
boogaloo tunes
birthday journey #2
birthday journey #1
Open Letter to the Twat Who Brings His Bike on the Train
Dear Twat who brings your bike on the train with you!
Yeah! You in the Tour de France racing gear, shorts so tight even your tiny prick might look like it would please your mother. You bring your stupid ten speed on to a rush hour packed train full of people who like not cycling everywhere. Your stupid contraption is taking up four fold down seats. Don’t you dare sit down and take up a fifth. I am fine with the fact that you want to save the planet, get fit, prove a point or whatever shit heap reason you have for cycling. I am cool with that , fill your boots, but if that’s the case fucking cycle to your destination! You must feel like a moron, you must feel the burning stare from a carriage full of pissed off standing passengers. Isn’t such a good idea, when you know any of us would use you as a human shield if we had to.
You know what makes this a whole lot worse? You know what bores into the side of my brain like a glock to the temple? Its the fact that you got on at Vauxhall and your getting off at Putney. Two Stops? Two fucking stops? Fifteen minutes on a train and what? Forty minutes on your idiot machine.
Do us all a favour. Use your bike for travelling from A-B not A and a bit then a small perambulation to B or failing that get a fold up bike small enough to shove up your smug arse!
Yours truly,
One Pissed Off Train Passenger
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New song from me and me, about murder in the valleys
xmas tree
